My computer had to be resurrected last night and subsequently some things are GONE. Sigh. Clients, please resend you manuscripts and contact info. That also goes for those of you whom I requested works from.
Queries are safe ,so no need to resend.
Microsoft is the devil.
One of the reigning kings of the Memoir , Augusten Burroughs, is featured in a wonderfully cynical and lengthy article about the truthiness of the genre. In the article entitled The Memory Addict , the journalist interviewing Burroughs is more then a little sceptical of Burrough’s ability to remember intricate little details a decade old, but not his apartment number. Makes you go hmmmm.
No one can overstate how important it is for a memiorist these days to offer cold hard proof, but isn’t the fictionalized version always so much more interesting.
P.S.
Love the disclaimer at the begining of the article
“NOTE: This profile of the allegedly fake memoirist Augusten Burroughs is based on real events. Dialogue has been compressed, and chronology has been changed for dramatic effect.”
This savvy lady has a book coming out ( I found out through googling her :)) and found a good way to build a little buzz about herself through perezhilton.com. I probably would have recommended that she have waited until her book cover came out on Amazon so that she could benifit , but hell..I’m not her Agent.Kudos, Sadie Nardini!
Have you thought out of the box todays
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Dear Elizabeth Jote:
This is a query. I am seeking an agent to represent my work. I have a website: xxx.com. If anything interests you, please let me know and I will send you a copy.
Many thanks for your time.
If your reader has to click through to see your work , then chances are they wont.Take the time for your craft and properly present your work. You are not a rummage sale.
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President Bush’s proposed 2009 budget eliminates all the funding for Reading Is Fundamental’s book distribution program that has, since 1966, provided more than 325 million books to more than 30 million underprivileged children.
“With 13 million children living in poverty in this country, the need for RIF has never been greater,” said RIF CEO/president Carol Rasco, The annually funded RIF program is currently approved through September 2009, but if Bush’s budget is approved, 4.6 million children will not receive 16 million free books the following year. RIF, the oldest and largest children’s and family nonprofit literacy organization in the U.S, has been funded by Congress and six Administrations without interruption since 1975.”- Publisher’s Weekly
Here’s to future illiterate generations.
Hello editor and agent.
My name is XXXX and I’m the messiah(i’ll explain how I became the messiah in my book proposal). My autobiography is almost complete hence I’m writing this query letter. I’ve lived a unique life and it continues with me writing to you. I intend to infect the world with love and intelligence in the next few years. I want you on my side…I want your cooperation and assistance…whoever of you takes me on. My autobiography is titled ‘XXXXXXXXXX’…my name is The Joke and my soulmate’s name is XXXXX. I’M ABOUT TO BECOME ENLIGHTENED! When I become enlightened I will reveal myself and my plans to all of you…the world. I have taken over 100% of Scientology and remade it. In my autobiography I explain the new rules of Scientology. Scientology as I have made it will succeed in converting 100% of the world population by 2300AD. I will compete with all religions…but especially Judaism, Islam, and Christianity! I will not be stopped because I am the messiah…my soulmate is also the messiah. Together we will unite the planet and advance Democracy to universal acceptance.
GOD SPEAKS TO ME. He tells me my purpose and my nature. I name God The Entity and Scientology now accepts The Entity as its purpose. God has changed its name to The Entity. In my autobiography I reveal what The Entity says and wants in a dialogue format. Would you like to know what God says to his chosen ones? YES! So would our readers! And would you like to know what I reply? Of course…we all want to know. The Entity in ‘XXXXXXXXX’ will open your eyes. Humor…intelligence…sadness…love…salvation…friendship…pain…It’s all in ‘XXXXXXXXX’. My book proposal will satisfy you. I PROMISE! I know you’re hooked…it’s my plan. Laugh! Email me at with your interest. Thank you…and goodbye from XXXXXX…THE JOKE! and the messiah!
P.S. I LOVE YOU…really…I do…take care.
P.P.S. You should space meditate…it will become the law inevitably…REALLY!
I’m speaking directly to first time authors here. If you want to actually get published , you’ve got to come with a fresh idea that will stand up to the long publishing process. Authors who have been pubbed and have a solid selling record can lean on the strength of their fan base a bit an be allowed one slip up. But you? Oh no!
It takes an average of several months for a book of fiction to get sold and anther 12 months to go through Editorial to Production before getting published. Once it’s out there, it is competing against hundreds of thousands of other titles, tv, radio, internet, and godzilla. What sense does it make to write a novel that’s already been written then? Especially when certain markets are completely full. Case is point: unless you are somewhat of a media star, forget about being the next Candace Bushnell. Are your female characters looking for love while balancing a glamorous career? Drinking Martini’s and dealing with non-committal men? Been there; done that. Put the cosmo down and pick up the diaper genie because what’s in now for people who aren’t always writing for Glamor and Cosmo is MOMMY-LIT. A slightly less stylized female characters doing real things.
When I have a bit more time I’ll list some of the ideas I see more frequently then I should and some possible remedies. But please do feel free to discuss some story lines /plots/characters you think have seen better days.
1. ALWAYS INCLUDE A COVER PAGE WITH YOUR SAMPLE CHAPTERS WITH YOUR NAME AND EMAIL ON IT!
2. NEVER NAME YOUR SAMPLES ANYTHING OTHER THEN THE FULL TITLE OF YOUR WORK!
What if I actually like what I’m reading and i can’t search for you in outlook/contact you? Don’t give me an excuse to give up on you!
I’m going to say it. You might hate me for it, but I’m going to say it. Outside of YA and High literary genres, many first novels written as first person narratives are no good. Why? Nine times out of ten a novel written in the first person is a signal that there might be a bit of laziness narratively on the part of the writer. There is a reason many choose first person stories; writing in the first person is the easiest way to get a story out; to feel what the character is feeling on paper; and it often cancels out the pesky need to develop other characters emotionally. First person works in a YA because teenagers are inherently self-obsessed; and also in high literary works because the author usually chooses an emotionally detached character to do the telling. However, in commercial fiction, I find that first person narratives suck the life out of stories that could otherwise have worked well if only the characters weren’t so obsessed with the minutiae of their lives. Think about it, if someone sits down at a coffee shop and tells you every little detail of their morning it would get mind numbing right?You’d be checking your watch while wondering how long you could keep actually looking interested in what’s being said. But, if someone sits down at the coffee shop and tells you how someone else got ready in their apartment, all of a sudden a simple recounting of events becomes a character study.
Do you have an okay novel written in the first person that would be amazing if it weren’t bogged down by a first person narration? Be honest with yourself; it may be the just the thing that’s stopping you from getting read.
A SYNOPSIS IS NOT A QUERY LETTER. Sorry to write that in caps but it needs to be stressed. A query letter is not meant to walk us through every step of you work the way a synopsis does. A query is a snap shot of the point of your piece; your selling points to your reader.
If you have sent a synopsis to an agent, then recall it and read up on the proper way to query because they probably haven’t gotten past the first of your many paragraphs. Harsh , but true.
Glorious Paper Cuts!
